Complications

"i don't wanna wait for our lives to be over.." hmm... i asked for three days to think and hybernate. so, i'm on my second day but I still haven't decided what to do. i'm just NUMB to it all. and i just want another smoke. take note hindi ako smoker, that's how depressed I am right now. = ( I honestly don't want ro decide on anything right now. gusto ko lang routine lahat sana muna.. and sana he just won't come back after those three days para minsanang bagsak nung sakit. mas madali ang recovery ko nun. I had only loved twice life so far. That was before him. Now, he is my third. Hindi kasi ako kaagad naiinlove sa isang tao. Ngayon lang nanaman ako tinamaan since 07. ewan ko... i'm not in the mood to write. till next time. bye

Hybernation

i love him. of course he doesn't love me back. classic! i am not really in the mood to write a "normal" blog and really you wouldn't understand some or most parts of this paper. This is my random brain at work. Simply put, i am hurt. This is my outlet. I remember inang mumbling about low class mortals. haha! you got that right. We are officially a magnet don't you agree? Worse, of the opposite gravity. Nice! Science and technology could never explain this. Nor do we really give a damn if they do. Most probably by then, we're smoking cigs and feeling better. Ah life! How we love roller coasters! The funniest and most insane thing there is it's FREE! haha. Before I mumble further, i love you my friends. You're the most predictable weather there is. Of this part,I am utterly blessed. Remember, i love you all for that. So, yes i love him! i am fucking inlove. And i do not know what to do. I haven't felt this thing since 2007. Those darn butterflies are back. How do i keep them off? when i feel the waves of his heart are not parallel to mine. = (
Hindi ko ito kayang daanin sa tatlong araw tulad ng dati. And honestly I do not know how to continue writing this.. help me?

Isang Munting Handog

umapak ako ng kolehiyo.punong puno ng pangarap at idelohiyo.
gusto ko maging nars,inhinyero o di kaya guro.
oo, magiging guro ako!
tulad ni emil na idolo ko.

leksyon ng katinuan,kagaguhan at kalokohan siyang naitanim sa utak kong musmos.
ganuon pa man, ako'y bumuo ng pangarap
hindi lamang ako ay magiging guro,
ako ay magiging abogado.

eto ang mga natutunan ko sa idolo ko,
hanapin mo kung sino ka sa mundong ito.
kung nasaan ang tinatawag mong iyo.
nang walang inaapakang mga tao.
at kahit baluktot ang iyong isip at gawa, ang resulta ay maganda.
higit sa lahat,
sa ginawa mo ay nahanap mo ang tunay na ligaya.

ngunit, netong nakaraang mga araw.
nakita ko ang mga nakita ng idolo ko.
mga katotohanang pilit niyang ikinwento nung kami pa ay kolehiyo
gamit ang mga salitang balot ng matatamis na euphemismo.

naunawaan ko,
nais niyang kami ay magising sa katotohanan ngunit kulang ang aming kaalaman nuon para siya ay maintindihan.

ngayon, nakita ko na nga at naintindihan ang kanyang ibig ipahiwatig.

malinaw na malinaw.

at dahil dito,ako ay malungkot dahil tama si emil.

ganun pala yun.

ang mapait na katotohanan.

salamat idolo ko dahil hinde lamang fundamentals ng political science ang natutunan ko kundi kung papaano lumaban sa karera ng buhay mo at pano bumangon kahit nalaman mo na nga ang masakit na katotohan.

kampay!